Are you ready for that big love? I'm talking about the kind of love that comes easily, someone you are aligned to, whom communication flows and flows, to have passion without drama. Someone who you can share deep honesty and truth, that allows you to be your true self without masks or games. Someone who makes you laugh out loud and encourages you to explore and create whatever your heart desires.
Can you handle a love that has no limits, that deepens with every smile? Someone who calls out your fears, your bullsh*t and holds you accountable yet loves you regardless?
Believe me, when I say - this love does exist and it's out there waiting for each of us to step up.
Your ideal partner is waiting for you - but are you ready ?
How will you react when that love comes along?
We all have been raised with different conditioning, from our parents to our teachers, from the society in which we are raised, even early school yard traumas have influenced how we behave in relationships.
Game playing is the psychological behaviour that we have learnt via witnessing our parents relationship, social conditioning from friends, media and elders who instil their values and beliefs about relationships upon us.
Game playing is used as a coping mechanism to hide our real feelings (often the fears that we are feeling) to avoid being honest and vulnerable.
- Why? because being real and raw with another person can be terrifying.
Being real requires that we put down the masks, quit playing silly games and communicate how we actually feel, letting the chips fall where they may. The other person may walk away but that is the risk we take.
So when that new person is standing in front of you, asking you on a date - Are you going to slip into old patterns of behaviour?
Do any of these resonate as something you have done?
1. Playing Hard to Get Intentionally hiding your feelings, pushing the other person away or becoming suddenly unavailable.
2. Projecting Do you project your fears onto the other? like assuming they will be unfaithful because you've been cheated on before?
3. Sending Mixed Messages Would you act aloof? Play coy, uninterested or send mixed messages?
4. Withholding Affection
Do you have a pattern of withholding affection to get the attention that you want? 5. Mimicry
Do you mimic the other person? Take up their interests, behave like them or be agreeable in order for them to like you?
6. Testing Limits Do you test a new relationships boundaries and limits; do or say something hurtful or disrespectful to see how the other would react?
7. Gas lighting and manipulation Do you have a pattern of withholding information, lying, manipulating or denying something to feel like you have the upper hand?
8. Change or Fix
Do you believe that you can change or fix the other person, mould or train their thoughts and behaviours?
9. Come on strong
Do you text and call incessantly, google and stalk the other person, love bomb new relationships with over the top messages of love or sext a new partner before you've even met?
10. Over thinking
Like projecting, overthinking obscures your reality of the other person, are they really that amazing or is your imagination running away from you?
Fast forward and it's your first date together: *nerves* -
but the other person has a crooked smile, maybe their job isn't very glamorous or their fashion sense isn't on point, there's something on your 'checklist' that they don't fulfil or maybe they just aren't what you imagined your ideal partner would look/act/talk/ like
Do you dismiss them as "not your type"?
In order for your ideal partner (the person who compliments you and whom you could grow with, not to be confused with your imaginary perfect partner, whom does not exist) to step into your life, you need to first allow this person a chance.
Drop the game playing.
Because your ideal partner is going to love you, as you.
(read that again... slowly)
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