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Looking for yourself?

Finding Yourself is such a strange concept and can seem either ridiculous or overwhelming, so in this article we explore what it means to Find Yourself and I'll share some basic principles of what's involved.

What does it mean to Find Oneself?

Firstly - You are not actually lost.

You are however more or less just buried beneath the masks, walls and conditioning that you have built around yourself from a young age to keep yourself safe, to fit in and to conform to the present context of your surroundings.

To find yourself means to uncover the truth of who you are and live as that person in the world.

We are not raised and educated to be ourselves, we are raised and educated to be what our parents, teachers, friends and society expect us to be. This is not bad, it is just the only way they knew how.

It does make finding the real you a little more difficult as you will need to re-examine your beliefs, values, likes and dislikes to determine what resonates as your personal truth and what has been imposed upon you by others.

What happens if I don't 'find' myself?

When we live a life that is not true to ourselves we begin to experience an internal dissonance. What does that mean?

It's the nagging, pull towards something different in life. You are out of alignment with who you really are.

You recognise that years are passing with no real meaning to your life, you may have accomplished things, but is it what you really wanted? Internal dissonance when ignored for long enough eventually becomes numbness, sorrow or depression.

By finding yourself, you are uncovering your own truth, your real self, the person that you have been supressing and ignoring out of fear of how others may react.

To live as your authentic self, you are able to speak your truth without fear of recourse, you are able to say no to people and places that do not align to your values and yes to the things that do.

You are able to follow your heart and live out your dreams, not someone else's.

You can be happy in your own skin, wear what feels right to you and attract a 'family' of friends around you who appreciate you, for who you really are. You will beam with more self confidence, and decision making will be so much easier because you know what is right and wrong for you.

Basic principles (in no real order)

1. It's a journey. Completely personal and unique to you. The starting point is from where you are now, regardless of your circumstances, finances or abilities.

Finding yourself is not a process of steps and goals, you will not find yourself between the pages of a book, at a weekend personal development seminar, ten day yoga retreat or by sitting at the feet of a guru. Although these things may assist you, they will not provide all the answers.

2. There is no one way, right way or only way. However there is a fast way and a slow way. The fast way requires more courage and will be more painful in the short term. The slow way requires less courage and will be more painful in the long term.

3. You always have free will and the choice is always yours.

4. All the answers lie within.

Accessing your own truth and inner wisdom however does take time and practise and you may benefit from the help of others to see past your limiting thoughts, recognise negative patterns, expectations and conditioning that has been imposed on you by others. (I have many teachers to thank) However everything you need to know is already inside you.

5. Where to start? You already know where to begin - it's that thing you've been thinking about doing, the person you've been thinking about calling, the group you've looked at joining, the ad you've seen in the paper, that nagging pull towards something different in life.

It's the thing that scares you a little - that is how you know you are on the right path.

6. Remember No.4

7. The rewards of finding yourself are so immense that you will not be able fathom them from your current state of thinking.

I look forward to meeting the real you very soon!

Drop me a line at and let me know how you are doing.

#findyourself #awaken #awakening #selflove #mindfulness #lifecoachingwithLauren #lifecoach #personaldevelopment #selfleadership #livetherealyou

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