Updated: Aug 13, 2020
Before you read any further, take a moment to jot down the first thoughts that came to mind.
How do you feel about money?
Do you have enough money?
Is money hard to come by or easy to come by?
Do you use money well?
Do you feel worthy of more money?
The answers to these simple questions, will both explain your current financial situation and determine your future financial situation.
Our first subconscious beliefs towards money are inherited (pun intended) from our parents.
This parental conditioning may not have even been vocalised to you, you may have simply witnessed how easy or difficult it was for your parents to earn a living.
As you grew, you may have asked your parents for things in which you were told "money doesn't grow on trees", or "you have to work hard to earn a living" or conversely "there's plenty to go around" or "money is meant to be enjoyed."
You would have witnessed your parents behaviour towards money. Did your parents invest in stock markets, hide cash under the mattress or have a wallet full of credit cards?
These seemingly offhanded comments coupled with spending behaviours like paying bills and making purchases all subconsciously form a set of beliefs that affect your relationship with money in one of two ways:
You accept it as reality
or you reject it
This is the foundation on which you have built your relationship with money.
To change your relationship with money, first - understand this: your parents relationship with money does not have to reflect your own.
Secondly, it takes a mind-shift to make lasting positive changes to your financial situation.
Thirdly, new habits and behaviours need to be embedded. From how you handle money, how you talk about money in front of others, how you treat your debts, pay your bills and how you invest your money all needs to change.
For me, money was something that had to be worried about.
My father worked very hard, as a tradesman and ran a small business, often coming home physically exhausted and working late into the evening with my mother to complete the paperwork and "balance the check-book" - which always looked like an incredibly stressful task.
As children our clothing was often hand-me-downs and Dad was always building, repairing and maintaining something.
One day, my father took all six of us to the cinema and he splashed out on the candy-bar, buying us all choc tops, popcorn, drinks, lollies - the works!
My reaction was one of horror and embarrassment, I knew he couldn't afford such a splurge and I didn't feel right accepting this generosity.
So, as you can imagine the relationship that I developed towards money early on in life, was not built a positive foundation.
When I entered the workforce and started earning money - I feared paperwork, I worked incredibly hard for money, I resented paying bills, saved like crazy - squirrelling away as much as I could, so I never had to ask my parents for anything.
I was frugal and incredibly risk adverse.
I feared being broke and I feared being wealthy - so I danced between just enough and not too much.
These conscious and subconscious beliefs influenced every decision that I made, from choosing a career to avoiding taxes for fear of the paperwork to every purchase that I made or chose not to make.
Changing how we think about money is key to creating a new relationship with money.
It's not about getting control over money as this attitude too can lead to more scarcity.
Of course measures need to take place to eliminate debt or increase savings but more than that it's about developing an attitude of abundance to life that includes an abundance of money.
For more insights and help changing your relationship with money, visit balancemyworklife.com